The Tener Family

This is a journal kept by Dennis Holmes and friends concerning the Tener Family.
The links below will take you to the "Tener Blue Book" - "TENER: A History of the Family in France, Ireland and America"; and to a Finding Aid.

NEW! Tener Eckelberry: A Life
NEW! The Art of Renee Duke, Tener Eckelberry's First Wife
The Tener Book Site
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Finding Aid
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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Edward Frederick Earnest "FRED" CRAVER

Fred's obituiary is from the Jan 2, 2008 Washington Post, page B-7........

"Edward Frederick Earnest "Fred" Craver of Falls Church, VA passed away on Saturday December 22, 2007 in Arlington, VA. Fred was born July 29, 1954 in San Antonio, Texas. He completed his education in California, graduating from Palisades High School in 1972 and the University of San Diego in 1977.

Fred was entrepreneurial and shortly after graduation from college he opened "Sea & Sky Artifacts" in San Diego - where he imported and sold maritime and aviation artifacts. While in San Diego Fred spent much of his leisure time sailing the coastal waters of Southern California and Mexico. After several years in business for himself, Fred moved to Northern Virginia to join his father's commercial real estate business in Fredericksburg, Virginia. He later obtained his real estate license and joined Long & Foster Real Estate in Fairfax, VA.

Fred was loyal to his friends and especially dedicated to his family. He made a special effort to attend all birthdays, graduations, weddings, reunions and family events wherever they may have taken him. He always made the time to support and celebrate his family, and we will miss his wonderful humor, warmth and love.

Fred was the grandson of Mr. and Mrs. A. Edward Craver of Fredericksburg, VA and of General and Mrs. Herbert L. Earnest of White Stone, VA. all of whom predeceased him. He is survived by his father Mr. Theodore F. Craver (Clair) of Hilton Head Island, SC; and his mother Mrs. Frances E. Bussells (Bud) of White Stone, VA.: his brother Theodore F. Craver Jr. (Marian) of Pacific Palisades, CA; and his sisters Cynthia Ann Holmes (dennis) of Milpitas, CA and Molly Craver-Shaw of Modesto, CA. Additionally he is survived by his nieces Cameron Shaw of Yountville, CA Mary C. Craver of New Orleans, LA and Elizabeth G. Craver of Pacific Palisades, CA. and by his nephews Clifford T. Holmes (Yvonne) of San Jose, CA Theodore F. Craver III (Helen) of St. Charles, Mo and Timothy T. Shaw of Modesto, CA.

The Family will receive friends Friday January 4, 2008 from 5:00 PM until 7:00 PM at Everly-Wheatly Funeral Home, 1500 W. Braddock, Alexandria VA where a funeral service will be held at 10:00 AM Saturday, January 5, 2008, with internment to follow at the Oak Hill Cemetery, Fredericksburg, VA. In lieu of flowers, please send a donation in honor of Fred to your favorite charity."

Fred was my brother-in-law, single - a lifelong bachelor. He was totally devoted to his family and - as noted - attended all family events where ever they may have taken him.

August 2005

His Eulogy was delivered by his brother - and shows a playful side of Fred, which I'd like to share with you here:

As many of you know, I am Fred’s brother, Ted. And it is from the unique perspective of a brother that I want to share some memories and thoughts about Fred.

My parents and my sisters would probably agree that it would be charitable to label us as “fiendish” when we were growing up. Fred and I were a handful when we were by ourselves, but put us together, and it was pretty much instant chaos. After we grew up—maybe I should say—after we became adults—actually I’m not sure that is any more accurate—well whatever, we delighted in telling and retelling the stories of our childhood exploits. Over the last several days, it has been a great source of comfort to recall some of those stories. For some reason, most of the stories I remember were of us getting in trouble.

Such as the time we were hiding in the bushes up on Arlington Blvd pretending to be great hunters armed with our homemade slingshots--shooting rocks at cars. We were quite proud of those slingshots, made from coat hangers, rubber bands and the webbing from the elastic band of a pair of underpants pirated from Dad’s dresser drawer. The inevitable happened—we ended up actually connecting with a car windshield. The driver screeched to a stop, bolted from his car running after us, and caught Fred. I had no choice but to turn myself in after that. Our memories were always “a little hazy” about what precisely happened after we were caught, but our older sister, Ann, who was babysitting us at the time probably has a better recollection.

Or one of Fred’s favorite stories. We were off from school on a snow day and decided to pass the time by throwing snowballs at cars coming down Olin Drive. We positioned ourselves on opposite sides of the street in order to catch our unsuspecting prey in a cross fire. After some good early success, a car approached going so slowly it was too hard to resist--even though Fred, who suspected it was too good to be true, warned me not to throw. I hit the car broadside--but it turned out to be an unmarked police car. Out jumps the cop, the chase ensues, and I am caught. Just as I am being led back to the car, with Fred shadowing us, my Mother drives up the street. Again the memory is hazy about what happened next.

And there are so many more great memories together—
** of building forts in the empty lots around the Olin Drive house
** and using Dad’s hammers as tomahawks,
** and burning up the hedge when the underground fort we built mysteriously caught fire,
** and dreaming together of owning an Avanti Studebaker car
** and years later racing up Westridge Rd in Mom’s more pedestrian Chevy Nova.

But we all know there was so much more to Fred than these crazy antics and zany stories.
Such as CREATIVITY. I was always impressed with his creativity. Whether we were in play, or working more constructively on something, he frequently would amaze me with a creative approach or idea. While I would rely mainly on diligence and logic, he would reach inside and pull something out and say “what about this?”, which would make me take a step back and marvel at how he came up with that.

And he was BOLD. Fred would get an image in his mind that he wanted to do something, or be something, and the next thing you knew, he was going for it. And they were things none of us in the family were doing or thinking about. He wanted to SCUBA dive, so he did it. He wanted to sail, so he not only learned how to do it, but he also bought a sailboat. He wanted to be his own boss, so he started his own business. While I would sit back and ponder and consider and weigh the pros and cons, he just got up and did it. I admired that boldness and courage.

THE TRUMPET! When he was growing up Fred played the trumpet. And somehow for me, Fred’s trumpet playing seems a near-perfect metaphor for him. Just his choice of the trumpet as his instrument seemed fitting. Big, bold, brassy, it blared out “you can’t ignore me”. And creatively played!! He found more creative ways to play that thing. It was a bittersweet memory this Christmas to remember our family Christmas Carol fests of years past with Dad trilling away on the clarinet, Mom and the girls on the piano, me with the guitar, and Fred on the Trumpet. And every dog in the neighborhood was howling along with us.

But of course what we all remember best was Fred’s warmth and caring towards friends, and especially family. I have two cherished memories as illustrations.

Fred was my Best Man at Marian’s and my wedding 33 years ago. He was a perfect choice as Best Man. I can assure you he took his duties seriously as host of, and the life of, my Bachelor Party. But he really showed his strength on the day of my wedding. He kept me loose, kept me laughing, kept me occupied, and was there with warmth and confidence--but without making me feel like I needed to be taken care of (even though we all knew I needed to be). And, two years ago, he was part of the wedding party as a groomsman at my son’s wedding. In fact my fondest recent memories of Fred are from that weekend at Ted and Nellie’s wedding. He was pleased, indeed I think proud, to be a part of the ceremony. We have a wonderful picture of him dancing with my daughter Mary looking like the Tango King!

I have felt a powerful need over the last few days to make something good out of Fred’s passing. I asked myself, what could I learn from Fred and try to put in practice. Above all, I respect the way he consistently showed his love and loyalty and caring for his family and friends. As Molly and I were agreeing the other day on the phone, more than most of us, he gave his love and support in a non-judgmental way, and demanded very little in return. Even his occasional admonishments were mostly delivered with good-natured humor and ribbing. He always found a way to show his support and caring. He would move heaven and earth to attend just about any family event, no matter the cost or imposition. These characteristics made him a very special person. I doubt I could ever do these things as completely or consistently as he did, but I will honor him by committing to try.

Fred was lovable. And, we love him. And, we will miss him dearly. The image that has repeatedly come to me in the last few days, and that I most cherish, is of God leaning down, and lifting him from the cold ground, and tenderly gathering Fred up in His arms.

I know God now has his trumpet player!

Peace be with you Fred. And, Hip! Hip! Bucko

FRED - sailing off the Southern California Coast